The Heuristic Squelch Dating Guide (a Berkeley publication)

What people really mean when they say...

The first quote is "What They say"
The second quote is "What They mean"

"Did you come?"
"Because I didn't."

"I have something to tell you."
"Get tested."

"I'm a Romantic."                   
"I'm poor."

"I'll give you a call."                 
"I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again."

"I never meant to hurt you."           
"I thought you weren't a virgin."

"Trust me."                             
"Let's just keep this between you and me, pumpkin."

"I love you."                           
"God, what have I gotten myself into?"

"I think we should just be friends."    
"You're ugly."

"Havn't I seen you before?"             
"Nice ass."

"I want to make love."                  
"I want to make love."

"Was it good for you?"                  
"I'm insecure about my manhood."

"We need to talk."                     
 "I'm pregnant."

"I had a wonderful time last night."    
"Who the hell are you?"

"I've been thinking a lot."             
"You're not as attractive as when I was drunk."

"I've learned a lot from you."         
"Next!"

"I want a commitment."                  
"I'm sick of masturbation."

"I think we should see other people."   
"I have been seeing other people."

"Let's get married."                   
"Does that mean we can do it now?"

"We don't have to do anything until you are ready."
"Put out or get out."

"I feel its time to express our love for each other."   
"Give me head!"

"I still think about you."             
"I miss the sex."

"Is there something wrong?"             
"Is it supposed to be this soft?"

"You're so mature."                    
"I hope you're eighteen."

"Its never been like this before."      
"Its my first time."

"Yes...Yes...(scream!)."                
"Aren't you done yet?"

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