"Huh!" sneered another of the group. "The first thing I do when I get off the train is to buy a good baseball bat. Then I go home and ring the front bell. I run around to the back door quick, and I haven't missed a son-of-a-bitch in ten trips."
A farmer came home late one night and caught a travelling salesman in bed with his wife. The farmer knocked the travelling salesman cold and when he came to, he discovered himself in the barn, where the farmer had tightly clamped his little dove the girls all love, in a big vice, nailed to the bench, and the handle to the vice was gone!
Looking around, he saw the farmer was sharpening a large knife. "Ye gods, you're not going to cut it off!" cried the salesman. "No," said the farmer; "You can do that...I'm going to set the barn on fire!"
A man who suspects his wife is having an affair hired a Chinese private eye to have her followed. The Chinese private eye reports:
I climb up tree, so I can see.
He play with she. She play with he.
I play with me. I fell off tree.
So I no see. - So soreee.
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