From New York: Home of the Cannes film festival ...
it's THE TOP TEN LIST for Tuesday, May 23, 1995.
And now, a man who is a surgeon and a general ... David Letterman!

From the home office in Sioux City, Iowa ...

TOP TEN SIGNS THE N.Y.P.D. IS OUT OF CONTROL

10. Besides handcuffs, officers carrying chains & leather whips

9. Many have appeared on both "Cops" & "America's Most Wanted"

8. Emptying service revolvers into donut racks to see which ones have jelly

7. They drive around Wall St. in a Sherman tank, shooting accountants in the ass

6. We're 20 games into the season and they still haven't arrested a single N.Y. Met

5. Instead of sirens, squad cars now blaring John Tesh

4. From the back, they all look like Ebert

3. Any chance they get, they take off clothes and do push-ups (video clip of naked Jimmy Smith doing push-ups)

2. They spend most of their time frisking themselves

1. Goodbye, uniforms -- hello, Batman outfits!


Compiled by Sue Trowbridge

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