Computer vs Woman

ComputerWoman
doesn't talk (much, yet) talks constantly
does what you tell it often asks "why" or says "no"
does EXACTLY what you tell it often intelligent
hard metal case soft skin
disk drives stay the same size vagina stretches over time
standardized parts each wants something different
comes with manuals how the hell does this thing work?
multi-function mouse multi-function mouth
doesn't care if you shower insists on cleanliness
many GIF, JPEG files insists on monogamy
batch files automate activities likes variety
sits there naked spends money on clothes (but looks better naked)
looks impressive on desk looks impressive on arm
can turn it off demands attention
buying computer magazines helps you work with it buying girly magazines makes it difficult to work with
usually grey or cream-colored choice of several colors
expensive expensive
upkeep minimal upkeep a major part of budget
one mouse one breast for each hand
parallel or serial ports in back usually dislikes anal sex
no reproductive capacity gets pregnant at awkward times
can help you with budget destroys budget
loads of software available two soft breasts
Pepsi Syndrome makes keyboard wet spot makes woman difficult difficult to use
one switch turns it on demands foreplay
can play games with it will play games with you
operating system insures consistent behavior rules change without warning
networking allows communication if you do something stupid, all the other women know it immediately
"c: file not found" "not now, I have a headache"
old ones look neato old ones look ugly
viruses can't kill you viruses can kill you
testing and comparing is expected testing and comparing is harassment
having multiple ones is luxury having multiple ones is polygamy
keeps you up all night because it's fun keeps you up all night because it's bitchy
performs millions of logic operations per second Doesn't perform a single logic operation in its entire life
produces correct conclusions faster than man produces ridiculous conclusions faster than man

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