Excited at the opportunity to avenge his father's death, the male whale says to the female "Let's go underneath the ship and blow air through our blow holes. That ought to knock their boat over, and make them think twice about killing innocent whales." The female whale agrees, and the plan works perfectly.
Once the whaling ship has completely sunk, the male whale notices that most of the sailors are making their way back to the shore by either swimming or in lifeboats. Not willing to let them get away so easily, the male whale yells "They're going to shore - Let's go gobble them up!"
Just then, the female whale becomes less cooperative: "Sure", she says, "I agreed to the blow job, but there is NO WAY I'm swallowing seamen!"
From: John F. Krotzer Warsaw, Poland
"When Bell #1 goes off we put on all our gear.
When Bell #2 goes off we slide down the pole and jump in the fire truck.
When Bell #3 goes off we speed to the fire in the fire truck."
He excitedly tells his wife.
Triumphantly he says, "We're going to do the same thing for our sex life!"
"When Bell #1 goes off we are going to strip naked.
When Bell #2 goes off we will jump into bed.
When Bell #3 goes off we will screw our brains out."
"Let's give a test run. Ok, ready?"
"Bell #1!" (they strip naked)
"Bell #2!" (they hop into bed)
"Bell #3!" (they start screwing there brains out)
A couple of minutes later the wife starts screaming "Oh, Bell #4! Bell #4!". The husband confused says, "Bell #4, What's that?"
The wife screams "More hose! More hose! You're not reaching the fire!!!"
Two elderly ladies came shuffling along the beach and noticed the protruding penis. One of the ladies poked it with her cane, and said to the other, "You know, there's no justice in this world." The other lady said, "What's that supposed to mean?", to which the first lady replied,
"When I was 20, I was curious about it.
When I was 30, I enjoyed it.
When I was 40, I asked for it.
When I was 50, I paid for it.
When I was 60, I prayed for it.
When I was 70, I forgot about it.
And now I'm 80, the damn things are growing wild...
And I'm too old to squat!"
Anyhow, the next morning came, and the three exhausted men were at the breakfast table with their wives. The waiter came over and asked the first what he wanted for breakfast and he replied: "I'll have TWO slices of toast please!" The other two knew what he meant and they subtly smiled to themselves.
When the second was asked, he replied: "I'll have THREE slices of toast please!"
The third brother at this point subtley smiled again and when he was asked, he replied: "I'll have FOUR slices of white...... and THREE slices of brown"
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