The definitions of words associated with life.....

degree -
what enables a person to get along without the use of his/her intelligence.

lecture -
a process by which a professor's notes are passed to students without necessarily passing through the brains of either.

professor -
someone whose job is to tell students how to solve the problems of life which he himself tried to avoid by becoming a professor.

wisdom -
the comb life gives you after you've lost all your hair.

originality -
undetected plagiarism.

advice -
something we test out on others to see if it really works.

truth -
what you get from a politican who has given up all hope of becoming a prome minister.

worry -
interest paid on trouble before it falls due.

heretic -
someone who disagrees with you on something that neither of you know anything about.

hard work -
an accumulation of easy things that should have been done last week.

boss -
the person at the office who is late when you are early and early when you're late.

jury -
twelve persons chosen to decide who has the best lawyer.

hero -
a person who behaved as if he was immortal just before he died.

loser -
an innocent bystander who gets killed after a battle by an unexpected unexploded shell and then has his name spelled wrongly in the newspaper.

pedestrian -
there are two types: the quick and the dead.

mixed emotion -
watching your mother-in-law drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari.

road map -
a large piece of paper that tells you everything that you need to know except how to fold it up.

... life can make you so pessimistic! ... :)

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