Classroom Capers

The teacher spent the entire hour reading to her class about the bison family. When she had finished, she said, "Name some things that are very dangerous to get near to and have horns."

Sammy spoke up without hesitation: "Automobiles?"

The teacher noticed that Al had been daydreaming for a long time. She decided to get his attention. "Al," she said, "if the world is 25,000 miles around and eggs are sixty cents a dozen, how old am I?"

"Thirty-four," Al answered unhesitatingly.

The teacher replied "Well, that's not far from my actual age. Tell me -- how did you guess?"

"Oh, there's nothing to it," Al said, "My big sister is seventeen and she's only half-crazy."

A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans".

"My father grows beans," said one student.

"My father cooks beans," said another.

Then a third spoke up : "We are all human beans."

Teacher : Use 'income' in a sentence.

Fred : I opened the door and in come the cat.
Teacher : Wrong! Try 'ransom.'

Fred : I saw a skunk and ran some distance away.
Teacher : No. Try 'handsome.'

Fred : Hand some candy to me.
Teacher : (exasperated) Your last chance is 'gruesome.'

Fred : Since last year I grew some.

Teacher : Let's take the example of the busy ant. He is busy all the time, works all day and every day. Then what happens?

Bright student : He gets stepped on.

Teacher : What is usually used as a conductor of electricity?
Johnny :

Teacher : Wire is right. Very good. Now tell me, what is the unit of electrical power?
Johnny : The what?

Teacher : That's absolutely correct, the watt. Now class, you should all study diligently like Johnny here.

The teacher was taking her class on a nature hike. As they were walking along, Bobby asked her, " Miss Hanson, do you know what has a hundred legs, quills like a porcupine, a tail with a stinger at the end of it, six eyes, and bright green spots?"

"I've never seen such a thing, Bobby,"the teacher replied.
"Well, there's one on your collar now."

The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, "Now I'll show you this frog in my pocket."

He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich. He looked puzzled for a second, thought deeply, and said, "That's funny. I distinctly remember eating my lunch."

From: Simon Khoo

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