Driving Awareness Award

From: Linda Kan

A patrol car has been following this vehicle for about 30 minutes now, when they finally decide to pull it over. The officer steps out and walks up to the driver's window.

"Good afternoon sir"
"Good afternoon, any problems ?"

"No sir. My partner and I have been following and observing you for a half an hour now. We ascertained that you have not committed one single traffic violation, you have not gone over the speed limit by even 1 mph, you were courteous towards the fellow drivers on the road. Therefore, as a part of our new 'Solid Driving Awareness Program' I would like to present you with this check for $30,000.00."

The driver lets out a big sigh of relief. "Oh good ! Now I can finally pay to get my driver's license. (Ooops!)"

Awkward silence, then the wife sitting in the passenger seat goes, "Don't listen to him, officer, he always talks nonsense when he has been drinking."

Grandma who's a little hard of hearing adds from the backseat, "Aye aye aye, didn't I tell you not to go in a stolen car?"

At this time the trunk pops open and a head peeks out, "Are we over the border yet?"

Car Collision

From: Linda Kan

Two cars collide and their drivers are thrown from their cars.
One guy is a business executive and the other is a priest.

The priest yells over, "Are you ok?"
The executive answers, "Ya!"

The priest pulls a whiskey bottle out of his pocket and offers it to the other guy.
The executive takes it and jugs about half of it down.

When he hands it back to the priest he says, "Aren't you going to have any?"
The priest says, "Nah, I'll wait till after the police report!"

The $5000 Loan

From: Lim Kim Wai

Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls-Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000. The loan officer, taken aback, requested collateral.

"Well, then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce," the man said.

The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's under- ground parking for safe keeping, and gave him $5,000.

Two weeks later, the man walked through the bank's doors, asked to settle up his loan and get his car back. "That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest," the loan officer said.

The man wrote out a cheque and started to walk away.

"Wait sir," the loan officer said, "while you were gone, I found out you are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow $5,000?"

The man smiled. "Where else could I park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?"

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