Bumper Stickers

Horn Broken. Watch for finger

Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot

All generalizations are false

Cover me, I am changing lanes

I brake for no apparent reason

Learn from your parents' mistakes use birth control

I'm not as think as you drunk I am

Forget about World Peace... Visualize using your turn signal

We have enough youth, how about a Fountain of Smart

He who laughs last thinks slowest

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math

It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you

Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy

Change is inevitable, except from vending machine

Time is what keeps everything from happening at once

I love cats... They taste just like chicken

Out of my mind... Back in 5 minutes

Forget the Joneses, I keep us up with the Simpsons

Born Free... Taxed to Death

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog

Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot

Rehab is for quitters

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let him sleep

All men are idiots, and I married their King

Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician

Work is for people who don't know how to fish

Montana At least our cows are sane!

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian

Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition

If you don't like the news, go out and make some

When you do a good deed, get a receipt In case heaven is like the IRS

Sorry, I don't date outside my species

No radio Already stolen

Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs

Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges

I took an IQ test and the results were negative

Where there's a will, I want to be in it

OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?

Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW

Tell me to 'stuff it' I'm a taxidermist

IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got

Time is the best teacher, Unfortunately it kills all its students

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better

According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist

Some people are only alive cause its illegal to kill

Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory

Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?

How can I miss you if you won't go away?

WARNING: Dates in calander are closer than they appear

Give me ambiguity or give me something else

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse

Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot

Always rememeber you are unique, just like everyone else

Friends help move. Real friends help you move bodies

Very funny Scotty, now beam down my cloths

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps

i souport publik edekashun

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder..

There are 3 kinds of people: Those who can count & those who can't

Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

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