Black eye in the Church

A man with a black eye walks into his favorite bar one Monday evening.
"Where'd ya get the shiner?" asks the bartender.
"In church", replied the man.
The bartender, dumbfounded asks "How in tarnation do you get a black eye in church?"

The man replies "Well, I was in church, and when the reverend comes in we all stand up. Well, I see that the lady in front of me has her dress stuck in the crack of her butt. So I tried to be a gentleman and pulled it out for her. She didn't like that too much and she hit me".

Two weeks later, the man returns to the bar. This time he has 2 black eyes, a broken nose, and a neck brace.
"Where'd you get in a fight at this time?" asks the bartender.

"Well", starts the man, "I was in church again, and we all stood up when the reverend came in. That lady was in front of me again, and her dress was stuck in the crack of her butt. A buddy of mine pulled it out, but I knew she didn't like it like that so I stuck it back in.


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