Miscellaneous Baby Jokes

Ugly baby

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. She fumed for a few stops & started getting really worked up. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.

"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said, "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."

"You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."

"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."

Can't wear no glasses

Then there was the one about the couple that was going to visit one of their friends and see the new addition to the family. The wife told the husband not to say anything about the child being born without any ears.

While they were observing the new baby, the wife commented on how beautiful the baby's eyes were and how well the baby should be able to see when he gets older. The husband said, "Good thing he'll be able to see well. He can't wear no glasses"

Pain Sharing Technology

A man took his pregnant wife to the hospital to give birth and the doctor told them that he'd developed a new machine and asked if they'd like to try it out. The machine could take some of the pain of childbirth from the mother and give it to the father to ease the mother's burden.

Well, they thought that was a good idea and decided to give it a try, so the doctor set it on 10% to begin with, telling the man that even 10% was probably more pain than he'd ever experienced. But the man was surprised at how little pain he was feeling & asked the doctor to raise it. So he put it up to 20% and when the man still felt fine, he raised it to 50% and finally 100%.

After it was over, the man stood up, stretched a little. Both he and his wife felt fine. The wife was relieved at having an almost painless labour. Later, when they took the baby home, they found the mailman dead on their doorstep.

From: Seok Koon Lee

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