There's this alien couple who is sent by their superiors to check out the sexual habits of humans. They land on earth and make contact with a couple whose names could be Mary and Squiffy. They inform them of their mission and ask if the couple would be interested in teaching them. So Mary and Squiffy talk it over and agree to help them with their mission. Mary to teach the alien man, and Squiffy to teach the alien woman. So, they agree that they would do this that very night.

They meet at a specified place and time. Then Mary takes the alien man by the hand and they go off, likewise, Squiffy takes the alien woman by the hand and they go off their separate way... all agree to meet again in the morning.

Mary and her alien friend make their bed and begin to get down to business.

The alien man says, "Is it long enough?" (meaning his "tool") Mary says, "Well, it could be a little longer."

The alien man says, "No problem." He beats on his head with the palm of his hand and POOF... it grows another inch...

He again asks, "Is it long enough?" Mary, amazed at this says, "Actually, it could be a bit longer than that." The alien man says, "No problem."

He beats on his head with the palm of his hand a few more times and POOF... it grows three more inches. Well, Mary, needless to say is in her glory (being that it's already twice the size of Squiffy's).

The alien man then says to Mary, "Is it thick enough?" Well, knowing the potential that could be there, Mary says, "No, it could also be a bit thicker." "No problem." says the alien.

And he pulls on his ears... and WOOLAH... it grows thicker... "How's that?" Mary says, "Just a little more."

So, again he tugs on his ears... WOOLAH... again, it grows a little bit thicker.

He asks, "How's that?" Mary says, it's perfect... needless to say, Mary had the best sex of her life that night.

The following morning, Mary and the alien man, and Squiffy and the alien woman meet up... and they all thank each other for everything. The alien couple gets into the spaceship and take off.

So, Squiffy says to Mary... "How was your night, how was it?"

Mary says, "Well, actually, it was the best sex I ever had, it was tremendous, wonderful. How about you? How was your night?" to which Squiffy replied, "IT WAS AWFUL, IT WAS THE WORSE SEX I EVER HAD!" he continued, "She kept beating on my head and pulling my ears!!!!"

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