Reasons that you may be AH BENG

Here are ten reasons why you may not be as cool as you think.

You may be an AH BENG if...

  1. you live in Ang Sua and not Bukit Merah.
  2. you realise that everyone address you as chef or Hock Kien Peng in the army
  3. your command of Hokkien is better than singlish
  4. you have permed hair
  5. you like to shop in GOO CHIA CHIEW and PEOPLES PARK
  6. the girl at POSB stared at you when you said 'I one too wee door some money'
  7. chicks with luminous shirt and pony tail at the TOP of their head say 'ho say bo' to you
  8. your belt is down to your pubes and butt crack area.
  9. you can put 2 chickens in your pant pocket

You might want to consider yourself a Chow Ah Beng if...

  1. Havelock Rd you don't know but Or Kyou Tao is your favourite hangout;
  2. you address every person in the army has with an extra "chow", like chow private, chow officer, chow coporal...;
  3. Corporal say turn the click of your rifle clockwise but you keep saying "Wa eh cock bo why leh corporal!"
  4. you carry a comb in your back pocket;
  5. you only go to Canto Pop even though you speak Hokien;
  6. you call discotheque, "LIS-CO";
  7. all your female freinds has "Lian" or "Hua" in their names;
  8. or your female friends like Mary, or Suzy as their English name;
  9. your 4-letter words are seldom 4-letters becos you prefer the colourful Chow Ch** B**! L** J***!;
  10. you address every body as Ah something...

Contributed by: SIMON KHOO

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